girls days out! :D

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girls days out! :D

well....
I suppose i should do my last paper today. Yet I haven't start any word ! Yeah i need a discipline on this.tonight I need to stop for a while I decided to sit and write some random thoughts. (I have my cup of milo, and feel so relief )

1. Its just hem.... It is back, the feeling of "I love my NOW" I wanna enjoy as much as I can.
I don't like saying good bye SO MucH!I need some lil time to adjust and gain back the zeal, thats why I sometimes struggle with my "I Love NOW".I know n understand fully, there's a time for everything. A time for every single thing : )


2. I always love reading other's blog, its just have its own pleasure when i read words and sentences, when i read how people express themselves through words. : ).
I've just read my friend's blog : http://missfregoe.blogspot.com/ n find it sooooooo interesting, u should check out all the crafts she made. n her thoughts on being alone. I am glad that on this massive world with its craziness i found someone who struggle on some points i do.

3. I gotta start to write a blog with more pictures and write at least once a week.

4. O yeah, today one of my friend came up to mind this morning. I text her just to make sure she's alright. Her best friend flied out to States after visiting her for almost 2 weeks. and yeah sure she's sad. but i also thankful that at least she has a good reason to cry.

My fav spot in this year : ).

this is the place where I come to my Creator and say "I Love You"
Often times I failed to put that word into action.
And Every night right this spot, my conscience teach me, to be true and sincere.
To humbly admit all my faults and to ask for forgiveness.


This is the place where I lay down my head
and have a restful night. have a wonderful dream..
This is where sometimes 我偷偷得哭, esp when I don't really get what-life-tries to teach me.
Its not as often as last year that i really safe a lot of my tears in 2010,
Yet this spot has a lot to do with times of troubles in 2010.



I wrote my love letter to my Father, n yes it is on that very cozy spot.
I ask QUESTIONS about tomorrow there,
I ask for blessings ,
I ask for forgiveness,
I once desperately asked that He would give me
some wonderful insight when I fall asleep.
And that very night I had a wonderful dream ever,
Its was crystal clear, none that I've had before.
My dreams was about " A restored Heart "

I woke up with d biggest smile,
I love when He teaches me through dreams.
I ask for a restored heart.
til today......





when Christmas comes on the corner,
I don't have something precious enough that i can offer.
beside a heart saying,
"Yes, Father, I give you permission to always restoring my heart"
I don't know what else should I offer,
but one thing I know,
my King appreciates honesty,
my Love seeks through my heart,
my Father definitely loves
me just the way i am,
n He wants me to be more like Him,


Its not all the blessings that I want to thank for
I thank for Him, yeah I thank for His presence,
so that we can always be true to each other, Dad.
I thank for being the WONDERFUL COunselor
I thank YOu for You are the Mighty God
I thank You for You are my HOPE
I thank You for YOu are my EVERLASTING FATHER.
thank you for being OUR PRINCE of Peace.

I thank for a pen, for a diary,for Your Word and for a book called " walking with God"
these keeps us connected

I thank You for the freedom of condemnations!
I thank You for You never ever say "I'm busy" whenever i crawl and go up there.
am thankful for YOU!
yes for YOU,
who's been really good!







with.

what my heart longs for : ).

More than a nice melody,
More than the sweetest of word's,
This is love i have found,
and with this love i am found.

I just want you jesus, i just want you my lord,
I just want you jeses, i just want you.

Never could i comprehend,
The love you so freely give,
Never could i be with you,
But you love covers all of my sin.

I just want you jesus,
I just want you my lord,
I just want you jesus i just want you.

There is no greater love than Yours,
Nothing else could ever compare,
And even if i search all the world i will never find a love like Yours god.

There is no greater love than Yours,
Nothing else could ever compare,
And even if i search all the world i will never find a love like yours.

I just want you jesus,
I just want you my lord,
I just want you jesus,
I just want you,
Jesus!

Tidak mengerti : (

Saya ini sungguh tidak mengerti.
Merasa jadi kelinci percobaan : (. Emang iya sih.
tpi keselllll aja, sama semua hal2 kecil yg ga diurus2.
Heraaaannn sama semua hal yang gampang dibuat ruwet banget.



Tolongin saya untuk tetep punya respon hati yg bener, walau gmanapun.
withy.

lemme know once again , I am loved no matter what .

Back sound : i know You love me - Hillsong

Yes You searched me
You know my way,
You know my failures,
yet I know You Love me

Thanks for Your Holy Presence surrounding me,
please lemme know once again, I'll never be alone.

I know You shield my way, Your hand upon me.
I know You love me.

At the CROSS I bow my knee,
there's no greater love than This
what can separate me now.....

Thank you That ITS aLL Done.

When the earth fades, falls from my eyes,
I know You LOVE me.

难忘的一天。

我感谢你神。。。
感谢你因为你给我很美丽的礼物。
我知道你真爱我。。。。

今天我不会忘的一天，我感谢你给我很好的朋友。。
很珍贵的机会跟他们一起过生日。。
祝福他们。。

I will bow to You

I will bow to You
to NO other God
but You alone..

I will lay down my idols
Thrones I have made
All that has taken my heart <3.>

I woke up this morning, with another grumpy attitude. Its 6 am, i have to get up and start to do exercise.
n yeah what I saw this morning is much more precious than just snuggle down in my super-warm-comfy blanket.
ITs a worth view to see...

I saw some people, holding some utensils n start to cultivate the land. While me, is again wake up with no "精神“. shame on me, huh? : (. I walk for a while, realizing its d time for me to reflect on things going in life, my attitude toward life. : ),I did the "check-up"

I always love when I see people with their simpleness n with their trust-- that what ever they sow now, one day they'd reap them with a smiling Face. I saw at least 3 people, busy sowing, the other 1 is preparing the land to be planted, the other one is watering some plants. Its definitely a WORK. N i wonder what would they think now, counting the sow - and count the harvest they might have ....... or they must have some Big Expectation of what the harvest would bring them --Another meat on meals, a new winter clothes, or elses. Whatever they have in mind one thing I see is , they do the work WholeHeartedLy. They have not seen the result yet, what they do is... They DO what they Need To DO. The rest, I bet they pray, they hope, they, whisper,.... that the plants would bring them a great harvest. : ). This goes with our life too, do things wholeheartedly, as for God not for human : ). then God has His own part, He sends rain to cabbages, He knows TOO WELL how lettuce should grow well. All I have to do is, put a small seed of Faith, and a bowl of HOPE, that HE knows Everything.

I saw at least 4 horses........ aahh PRetty!
n I was reminded, of the verse " He lays me down on a green pastures, He feeds me in front of my enemies"
It really is.... He lays me down on a green pastures. What i have in front of me is a green pastures, do I still need to doubt Him??

I beg You today God,
I will lay down my idols,
thrones i have made,
ALL THAT has TAKEN my HEart..... - the worries, all doubt i Have, the fear of tomorrow-

I will lay it down,
for I know, You are TRUSTWORTHY.




with

Living to please others : )

Rome 5 : 2
We should please others. If we do what helps them, we will build them up in the Lord.
For Even CHRIST didn't please himself.
may God who gives this patience and encouragement, help you live in complete harmony with each other -each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other.

So accept each other just as Christ has accepted you, then God will be glorified. : ).

don't let evil get the best of you, but conquer evil by doing Good! Rome 12 :21

Saya baru tau arti "Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih setiap waktu, dan menjadi seorang saudara dalam kesukaran "
Kalo saya mikir pake pandangan dunia, seorang sahabat itu harus ada di setiap saat, saat senang, susah, sedih, di segala keadaan. Kalo ga ada di masa2 susah ato cuma ada di masa2 "emas" disebutnya " ga cengli, ga setia kawan, ga loyal... " kata2 "habis manis sepah dibuang" paling sering didengar telinga kita saat deskripsikan hal ini.

Tapi waktu saya renungin lagi kata2 ini, ini sih kata2 powerful banget! Beda sama apa yg selama ini saya ngerti apa itu jadi seorang sahabat. : ) ngertinya sampe batas sahabat itu yang mengerti saya, yang berani bilang salah kalo saya salah, n hal2 baik lainnya. Ternyata itu aja ga cukup.

Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih setiap waktu - iya Setiap waktu.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, waktu dia dilupakan.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, waktu sahabatnya lupa bilang " sorry"
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, waktu sahabatnya dateng telat pas janjian jalan brg.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, saat dia kesel sama sahabatnya
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, saat menegur karena sahabatnya berbuat salah.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, saat yang lain ga percaya lagi sama dia.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, saat kata terima kasih sangat jarang didengarnya.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, waktu dia kurang dihargai.
Seorang sahabat menaruh kasih, SETIAP WAKTU.

Dan menjadi saudara dalam kesukaran.
Emang paradoks! kalo dunia bilang, "temen lo mah nyari lo saat susah aja"
Harusnya kita reflect lagi ke ayat ini, bukankah justru seorang sahabat cenderung akan cri sahabat nya saat dia "lelah dan terjatuh". Jadi itu natural banget kalo sahabat kita cari kita saat susah, : ). Kalo saat susah dia cari kita, Amsal jelas bilang, "Jadi saudara dalam kesukaran, itu baru sahabat " :D.

Bagus ya...


Saya masih sering gagal.. tpi mau terus belajar : ).
Jadi seorang sahabat yg menaruh kasih setiap waktu, dan menjadi sahabat dalam kesukaran : ).

Learnings from these days : )

Hari ini saya belajar, bahwa menghormati orang yang sedang berbicara di depan itu penting : ).
Hari ini saya belajar, menjadi pendengar yang baik itu jauh lebih susah ketimbang berbicara : )
Hari ini saya belajar bahwa tidak setiap orang seperti saya, karenanya saya harus belajar mengerti...

Hari ini saya belajar bahwa kerendahan hati itu sesuatu yg berharga
hari ini saya belajar bahwa di dalam segala hal kecil Allah bekerja u/ datangkan kebaikan
Hari ini saya belajar, menjadi orang murah hati itu tidak mudah tapi bisa asal kita mau.

Hari ini saya belajar 1000 bahasa itu terlalu banyak dibanding 1 tindakan Kasih : )
hari ini saya belajar, bahwa bukan saya.... tpi DIA, its not about me, its ALL ABOUT YOU!
Hari ini saya belajar, He must become greater and greater n I become less and less.

Hari ini saya belajar, bahwa tidak selamanya apa yang saya pikir baik itu BENAR.
Hari ini saya belajar mengerti, bahwa semua orang punya kepentingannya masing2, waktu kamu merasa "dilupakan, ditinggalkan", Dia ingin saya belajar menjadi dewasa dalam bersikap.

Hari ini saya belajar, mandi 15 menit itu tidak efektif, hahhahah :D.
Hari ini saya belajar, berhati2 dengan lidah itu penting, berjaga2 dengan mulut itu penting.
Hari ini saya belajar, jujur itu sebuah latihan, sebuah proses belajar, dan sebuah hasrat u/ sekedar menyenangkan hati Dia.

Hari ini saya belajar banyak sekali hal...... : )


Hari ini saya kembali belajar, u. melipat tangan dan berdoa di sisi tempat tidur saya, mengucap syukur dan duduk diam, "mendengar" ..





withy

once again.... I need Thee

when I cry for help,
O hear me Lord
Touch My Heart n
Still the raging storm in me.

I need thee every hour most gracious Lord
no tender voice like thine can peace afford
I need Thee O I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee O bless me now my Savior
I come to Thee

I need Thee every hour in joy or pain
Come quickly and abide or life is in vain
I need Thee yes I need Thee
Every hour I need Thee
O bless me now my Savior
I come to Thee

I have many tears and sorrow,
I have many questions about tomorrow
There' been times I didn't know right from wrong
But in every situation God gave blessed consolation
that my trials only curl to make me strong

I 've been a lot of places
I've seen so many faces
there been times i felt so all alone
in that lonely hour
in that precious lonely hour
Jesus let me know I was His OWN


So I thank God for the mountain
And I thank Him for the valleys
I Thank Him for the storms He brought me to
If I've never had a problem
Wouldn't know He could solve them
Wouldn't know the faith in His Word could do

Through it all..
through it all...
I've learned to trust in Jesus
I've learned to trust in God
Through it all...
I've learn to depend upon His Word


hang in there, tiw! God will see u through

withy.

learnings

The learning has always been this :

Trust God more than man :D!
yeah...... its so true!!

what else can be so true? except...
His Love is Unfailing, Unending, and the Only! love that never makes u down.
Love that always patient, kind, n everlasting!



still not enough,
go on ur bed, open up ur old diaries,
think thoroughly,
the choice is yours,
..........

u let man destroy your heart,
or u let Him take you heart,
and keep it for someone who deserves it.





You have my heart,
with

kerinduan saya..

berjalan dengan apa ?

Seringkali saya ini bingung. Stuck sama pemikiran sendiri yang menari2 dengan indah di kepala : ). Cukup membuat iman goyah, mata buta, serta telinga susah mendengar.

Gatau musti mulai dengan apa.... berjalan dengan cara gimana, n darimana............

Yet along the confusion n wilderness, saya cuma bisa liat jalan setapak di depan mata saya, lainnya "gelap" i don't have any idea what tomorrow might bring,
what next year hold....

what the things ahead wait...

tapi saya cuma punya 1 kerinduan,

saya rindu berjalan dengan :
kepercayaan seorang anak kecil pada Ayahnya,
hati yang simple untuk sekedar tahu, saya ada di Tangan yang Aman,
dan keinginan kuat untuk menyenangkan hati Dia jauh lebih dari apapun.

this thing i ask before I die Lord,
Don't give me riches nor poverty,
Give just the thing I need : ) ( my portion)
Let this life always speak the truth! n
let the truth set us free...



: ).
with

橘子洲。。

昨天我们一起去橘子洲，一点半出发，八点刚回来。。我真的累死了。可我很开心能跟大四的学生一起玩儿。 ： ）

在那儿我看了很好的风景真让我很感动。。不知道说什么好。： ）。
我今天没有话要说。只有几张照片。



对了，我还需要为印尼祷告，我听说那个火山越来越不好，出了很多问题，所以今晚我求你神，照顾我的亲人，照顾所有的孩子，照顾营救的人，照顾我初国，我知道只有你神可以帮我们，可以保护我们，给我们的政府智慧所以他们会很快决绝这个问题。谢谢神。

something to 琢磨！ ：D

- I don't have to try that hard for
I am living by God' s Grace -

生词 ：) ODB oct 24, 2010.

争执 zhēngzhí : quarrel = 争吵
抱怨 [bàoyuàn : complain
依然 : still
和睦相处 : hémùxiàngchǔ live in harmony
合一 : unity
差派 : cha pài - sent
门徒 : méntú disciple
彼此 : bǐcǐ both sides.
服事 : serve
易于 : . be easy to , prone
油浇 : you jiao1 : oil poured
胡须 : beard, moustache
喜悦 : xǐyuè happy
膏膏 : annointed
香气 : a sweet smell; fragrance; aroma

It is well with My soul : )

Lagi suka banget dengerin lagu ini, : ).

U torrent g bekerja dengan baik, yeayyy!! thanks to my ex-roommate Alex!! :D.

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
5. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
6. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

Praise the Lord, I tell my self,
Praise The Lord,


withy

Blessing in disguise : )

Akhir2 ini saya lagi baca 1 buku , "Walking with God", ga seperti baca buku lain-lainnya, hampir setiap bab saya berhenti baca, and saya di push untuk "mengalami , merenungkan, n praktek".
Ada 1 bab yang bicara tentang, " how to listen".
Waktu saya baca bab ini, jadi sadar betapa kita itu jadi manusia " bawel, cerewet, and penuh permintaan ya" tapi sedikit banget waktu2 kita cuma duduk diem, siapin waktu untuk " mendengar". Saya jadi ga heran ada yang disebut skill to listen, karena ternyata listening - mendengar itu ga mudah.

Dari waktu saya bangun pagi, ngelakuin hal2 sepele, saya belajar untuk mendengar : ). Walau seringkali masih gagal, masih sistem "TERABAS" pake cara saya. Til one day, saya dapet pelajaran berharga. What's that - listen carefully -

Hari itu pulang dari rumah laoshi saya, dengan berbus ria, saya pulang ke dorm. Ngeliat kondisi bus sih, hum.. emang rada ga layak untuk dinaiki 10 penumpang lain ( saya n temen2) tapi apa boleh buat, kalo ga naek, bus berikutnya jg sama padatnya. Begitu naek, saya cuma inget, pegangan supaya ga jatoh. Serangan dari sana sini, badan nempel sama orang lain, udah jadi hal biasa. Tpi waktu naek saya kaya denger suara " With, mending naek taxi aja" humm... saya dasar lupa saya sedang belajar "to listen" saya pikir, ah naek taxi mahal, bus aja cuma 2 kuai : ). Di bus stop berikut again saya dnger suara " Withy, turun, naek taxi", honestly saya jg ga ngeh itu suara siapa, feeling doang ato gmn, saya msih bersikukuh, humm mahal ah naek taxi, ngebus aja. Tapi setiap lewat bus stop saya pengen banget loncat dan udah deh naek taxi aja, n saya tetep denger suara itu lebih dri 3 kali. Tapi tak kunjung saya turun, sampe saya berasa salah gara2 suaranya ga ilang2, n saya dah ga tahan ama banyaknya orang yang nginjek kaki saya saking penuhnya. : )

Turun lah saya sendiri, 9 temen saya masih berkutat di bus. Waktu berusaha mengenal tempat saya turun, ehh ternyata udah deket ke dorm saya. N ada McD, tergoda u/ beli kentang, saya buka tas mau cek di dompet ada uang berapa, n TARAAAAAAAA...... 我的钱包丢了， 被小偷偷走了。yep! its gone!! dompet saya DICURI. : ). Resleting tas saya dirusak dan sobek deh....

hem........... bingung, saya telpon deh si lisa.... nasehatnya cm 1 tpi dalem, laenkali didengerin yaa suaranya. : ). Telpon nyokap, krena msti blokir kartu paspor BCA yg bisa diambil kpan aja dri ATM di China, humm sama pesennya : laenkali tuuu denger-dengeran ya : ).

Malem itu saya duduk di tempat tidur, merenung,.... humm silly ya, saya sepanjang hari berdoa, help me to listen to You, and give me a heart to listen. Begitu lalui hari2 saya malah "nantangin" suara nya bahkan gatau ini suara siapa ya, feeling atooooo apa ya.

Kalo di karakter cHinese : listen itu = 听 ( simplified ) 聽 ( traditional )

karakter yg tradisional ini terdiri dari radikal Er duo 耳 ( telinga) , sepuluh 十 (shi) mata 目 ( mu) n 1 hati 一心
kalo diartiin, arti kata mendengar itu : harus pake 2 telinga, sepuluh mata ( yg berarti segenap perhatian) and
1 hati.

Interesting huh?
Saya tau hari itu saya gagal mendengar dengan baik, tapi doa saya, ini jadi pelajaran "mendengar" bt saya.
as the Word writes in John 10

"... and the sheep hear his voice and come to him. He calls his own sheep by NAME and leads them out.
...and they FOLLOW him because they ( the sheep) recognize his voice"


yea...... help me to listen carefully and to recognize Your voice : ),

with.

I know You love me : )

Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place

What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me

I know You love me
I know You love me



- I know i am loved and ITs all FINISHED : )

Give me Jesus...
Give me Jesus..
You can have all this world
just gimme Jesus.

When I am alone,
give me Jesus..

dear Lord, thanks that You always up to restoring me.
Thanks for the Golden time to sit and to listen to Your Word.
Its just too much time I spent in defending all the walls that I build myself,
til I come down to the time where Your word, penetrate, n seek through this wounded heart.

Thanks Daddy,
thanks for John Eldredge and his honesty in revealing the truth.
Thanks for the " Walking with God"
Am blessed, and overwhelmed.

Times and times all I need is to obey rather than just stay in this "confusion"
Thanks when I don't know what to do, this book came up to mind..
Along the reading I know how You really work in this wounded heart.
I fail to trust times and times, yet Your amazing Grace once again has opened this eyes.
Father, let it be said to me, " was blind but now I see"

I pray for the restoration in the foundation of my life : )
I ask for the Grace to see this life in a different way..
You know me too well, You know how I always approach this life as a hard life and full of struggles. I'd rather think of FIGHT till you drop, than love this life, as God's gift.
I always wake up with another Question : Now what ?? other hard learning? words of " Hidup ini keras, bung! " unconsciously been deeply rooted in my mind. ok, lemme think the very 1st word would come out when it goes to life ? "Perjuangan" .
Hum...... I thought i was ok, totally okay.

til yesterday when i read through this part, "Accident, God?" chapter.
No, its not okay.
I need to be restored.
what John Eldredge wrote in his book is totally reflect how i approach this life, and why i need to be restored.

"My whole approach to life has been built on be tough, need nothing, push through. I have a really hard time being LOVED. It's hard to accept a fundamental reorientation of one's approach to life. The old ways are so deeply woven into our personalities, so grounded in our core assumptions, so rooted in our wounds and in what has worked for us over the years . And there is nothing like a crisis to expose all of it. ...

Now I'm back into the corner. This disruption is going to be far more than physical, Whatever else may come out of this, I want TO BE TRANSFORMED. Love is pretty central to life, after all. I don't think it's a good idea to miss out on love.

My approach to life is fundamentally based upon attack. Thats how I live. I attack life, I get up int the morning and attack the day.

But this is not the life i want to live, and also I pray : I come back to Your love. You said, My Love, I want a life that is based on Your love. ROOTED and GROUNDED in Your love.

I prayed, God, I give You permission to rebuild my personality based upon Your love "

- I FEEL exactly the same way he felt, I often fail to name it, he helped me to name it and write that down, now the decision is in my hand, and the choice has been made,

I stepped over the line

I know my God is Reliable,

I pray the same prayer, God, I give You permission to rebuild my personality based upon Your love.




- Be it unto me according to Your word-
withy.

Where to put another penny ?

How discouraged ....

I put one kuai in a small cup...
I see from a far, there's a couple who's asking for a kind heart to put coins in their small cup...
I make up my mind, tho i don't have much, I put a coin n walk happily...
I saw how painful it is, the man was blind, yet he is still trying to at least, blow that music instrument..
And his wife has a hunchback and can't hardly walk, yet they do....
They're holding hands and say thanks with smile ....


I walked away...
Ready to have my dinner..
As I pray, I thank God for a bowl of rice, with meat n egg.
I ask for the joy in sharing n giving to others
And a heart to always count blessings.

I enjoy my meal...

But...

when i just walked out from the resto,
I saw this couple,
They're smiling and giggling.

To my surprise....
The man still with his sunglasses, but he really walk way too fast for a blind man.
And he doesn't need to look at his wife if he's blind.
They giggle,
I'm trying to get closer, now they passed me by,
walking sooooo fast, and the hunchback was gone.
She walked straight and full of energy..
now they holding hands, but its not the way you'd hold a blind man.
They are as healthy as i am.


TWO sides,
I thank God, that they're not as suffer as I thought before : )
but its really discouraging.
to see what I just see,
I stop for a while..

n ask, What now?

And I have 2 choices :
being hatred, or 70 times 7.
being upset, and it will take away all the joy i have,
or stop complaining and forget it....

i make a decision on my way home.
to write this down
and never let the 'thief ' take away my joy. : ).

and hummmmmm ask for a discernment..
when n where should i put another penny.

-Hari guru-

Happy Teacher's Day : ), 教师节快乐！

Hari ini password kemana pun kita pergi di Changsha, 4 kata itu. lucu ya, semua orang ribetttt ngerayain ini dengan ngasih bunga, ngasih hadiah ke guru2 mereka.

Nah, hari ini ceritanya, saya msti ke rumah Advisor kita, bersama 10 murid lainnya kita pegi deh ke rumahnya, ya sama. Ngasih upeti : ). Ada beberapa kejadian aneh sebenernya yang saya pikir AGAIN saya ngalamin culture shock yang udah lamaa banget ga saya alamin n bkin sdikit lebih bahagia ( secara 2 bulan ini daerah skola, n dorm saya sepi, smua pada libur) :

1. Buanyaknya orang, maaaakk kemana2 kesenggol2 n smua mau apa2 ngantri, mending ngantri bener, ngantrinya ya siapa kuat dan cepat dan GALAK bakal dapet dluan. Dimana pun kapan pun, bahkan waktu mau beli naicha.

2. Kalo udah jam 5 sore,n sedang merayakan hari guru jangan ngarep bisa naek taxi. Bus akan jadi sarana transportasi terbaik namun tak bersahabat. Uda lama saya ga naek bus se- rame itu, mau naek aja lari2 masuknya nempel sama semua badan orang. fiuhh... ^ _^.

3. Kejadian lucu : saya bingung waktu mau masuk ke rumah Advisor saya, kog smua tiba2 diem and mulai kerasak keresek ngeluarin plastik warna biru. Dan semua sibuk ngebungkus kaki yang masih bersepatu dengan plastik itu. Sebenernya ini niat banget n i guess this is a very thoughtful deed ya, jadi ga ribet lepas2 sepatu, tpi goal utama nya itu yang bkin saya geuli sendiri. "Biar rumah si laoshi ga kotor karena spatu kita, terus biar dia gausah sibuk ngambilin slippers buat 11 orang" hummm.. nah alasan ini ampir bkin saya ngakak. Di pikiran saya, yaaa namanya juga namu, kalo ngotor2in lantainya dikit gapapa kali ya, resiko nge-host. Kita jg kan bakal buka sepatu deket pintu, bukan yang kesana kemari pake sepatu. Trus saya ga berenti natap 1 anak, yang kayanya tuh renzhen banget ga membiarkan sedikit pun plastik itu ga nutupin sepatu dia, tapiiiiiiiiii ada beberapa plastik yang dia ga pake, dibuang gitu aja di depan apartemen si laoshi. jadi deh berantakan, n dia tak merasa apa2. : ). ironi : )

4. Begitu sampe di rumahnya, kami smuaaaa kaya dengerin petuah for almost 2 hours. Sayaaaa humm baru beneran berasa skolah lagi, secara dlu skola di dkv jg gada yang diem adem ayem dengeriiiinnnn aja tanpa tanya mana contohnya dll. :).

5. N yang terakhir ini yang paling bkin saya kaget......
ceritanya demi upeti itu kita urunan uang..... ada 11 orang, sebenernya begtu orang2 sibuk bawa2 saya rada pengen ketawa ya, kenapa si laoshi hari gene dbeliin nya susu, yoghurt, liang teh yang itu loh di indo jg banyak, lupa lagi merk apa, wang luo something. trus ada teh dll. sisanya saya gatau pada beli apa. Ya secara saya ga ikut belanja,tpi smua berupa bahan makanan, ya saya iya2 aja waktu disuru urunan. N saya KAGET banget waktu dibilangin 1 orang suru bayar 70 kuai, n 11 orang it means 770 kuai = Rp. 1 jt an. Saya kaget tapi jaim, tetep ngasih dengan tenang. tpi ga berenti mkir, apa2an yaaaa, 770 kuai, trus belinya sembako, itu yang bkin saya aneh sih. Kalo beliin barang berharga kaya misal, tas, bolpen, jam tangan, apa keg ya yang emang nominalnya worth it 770 kuai, ya saya gakan bertanya2.
Dan saya langsung nyadar.. oh iya ini China, they have their own culture.
Tapi di sepanjang jalan saya mikir, kenapa anak2 jaman gni masih adza ngasih bahan2 kaya susu dll ya, ehm i guess mereka pnya alasan. tiba2 muncul deh cerita si laskar pelangi di kepala, inget si ibu guru yang dibayarin pake beras n sembako.. Mungkin ini dlu tradition mereka, dlu kan china miskin tuh, smentara smua orang tetep harus dapet pendidikan, jadi mungkin mereka dibayar n dihargai dengan sembako. itu siihh kesimpulan saya.... Jadii besok saya mau tanya sama mereka orang2 china, mengapa begini mengapa begitu hehheh ..

Yaudah segitu dlu aja keanehan2 nya saya ceritain...

Besok2 pasti jadi banyak ehhehh : ).

The Book of ELI

I know how " basi" it is to talk about book of ELI, yet i just want to write 3 powerful words I learnt.

I FOUGHT a GOOD fight.....



I Finish the RACE.....



I keep THE FAITH......


These 3 powerful words mengakhiri jidat saya yang mengeryit tanda tak mengerti, ini film ceritat ttg apa sih. Masih ga jelas sampe akhirnya. hehhehe, banyak pertanyaan tuing2 di kepala. Tpi sukses membuat saya mikir.
Will God find me one day, and will I boldly say : I fought a GOOD fight, I finish the Race, I keep the FAITH.

Saya tau harga yang harus dibayar mahal, perjuangannya berat, tapi..... I ask for the Grace that I'll keep the FAITH.

N hah.... tiba2 saya berpikir, hidup ini hidup karena 1 tujuan, hidup karena ada goal, hidup karena VISI, hidup karena kita punya 1 misi. Terlalu sayang untuk disia-siakan begitu saja. Selain kamu dan saya, di dunia ini masih banyak permasalahan complex lainnya, masih banyak yang harus dipikirin, dikerjain , diolah, and for you to live this life cuma buat "seseorang" yang kita pikir "PENTING, Segalanya, dan Berharga" coba masuk kamar, balik lagi mkir, sebenernya hidup ini punya siapa, dari siapa, and buat apa . Hidup ini terlalu berharga! kog saya jadi marah2 hehhehee...
bukaaan maksud saya.....

Let's ask the Guide, let's see the True Mission He wants us to accomplished, n let's keep the Faith .


: )
withy

wisata kuliner di kamar sendiri :D

Senangnyaaaaaaa punya room mate baik hati dan penyayang serta mengerti saya suka sekali indomie.


Ini dikasih cobain indomie nya Thailand: ). i bet this would be very delicious!!! :D.
Plus Kerupuk. awwwhh!!! berasa pulang, walau tetep di kamar hehehhehe :D


withy

A prayer of David - psalm 86

Hear me, Lord and answer me,
for I am poor and needy.

All the nations You have made will come and worship before You Lord;
they will bring glory to Your name for You are Great and do marvelous deeds,
You alone are God.

Teach me Your way Lord,
that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an UNDIVIDED heart, that I may fear Your name.


As david pray, i humbly bow down before you, lift the same prayer,
listen to my heart O God : )

Semangat dan pengharapan... :D

Saya hari ini baru saja dapet kabar tentang Sahabat saya waktu di SMU dlu, yang berjuang penuh sama penyakit yg saya masih ga terlalu jelas itu komplikasi apa, yang pasti erat hubungannya sama ginjal. Gara2 sering izin jadilah dia harus cuti sekolah, dan akhirnya tinggal kelas. Masa2 cuti itu, sering bikin saya mikir, aduh msti sering2 nengokin dia nih, tar kalo misalnya saya gabisa ketemu dia lagi ( read : balik ke rumah Bapa ) begimana ceritanya. Jadi saya rela tuh pulang skolah, bareng temen2, ngangkot sampe udah gatau ada di bagian mananya Bogor, naek opelet, sampe duduk2 di bawah demi menggapai rumahnya. Yang aneh, tiap dateng, bukannya saya sedih, malah saya seneng. Saya selalu kagum sama semangat hidup temen saya ini. Finally she made it! Layaknya orang2 dengan penyakit lumayan serius, gausah deh itungin berpuluh2 tahun lagi, target nya : bisa lulus SMA ga ya? pertanyaan itu sering muncul. Walau dia tinggal kelas, tapi Finally She MADE it. Dia lulus SMA. ok, 1 step gone through.

Pertanyaan baru muncul, kuliah apa ga ya dia? Kuatkah? sampe akhirnya kita seneng buanget, karena penyakitnya lenyap nyap nyap sudah :D. Baru kali ini MENDENGAR kata negatif tuh seneng! :D. Sesudah perjuangan 2 th stgh. Time runs, dia kuliah, n Lulus loh! : ). dan beberapa minggu sebelom saya balik ke Changsha saya bertemu dengannya. Kita ketemuan di Pizza hut deket rumah saya. :D. Reuni berdua doang : ).

Tapi waktu mulai pesen, dia bru cerita dia gabisa makan yang macem2 karena masih jaga dll, n akhirnya cuma bisa minum jus. Saya sebenernya kpengen banget nemenin minum jus aja, tpi apa mau dikata, perut saya udah demo keras, n akhirnya tetep makan spaghetti. : ). Update hidup, dan tentunya dia cerita ttg penyakitnya, how it's been healed. Tapi di penghujung cerita dia baru mengaku kalo akhir2 ini kesehatannya mulai menurun lagi, dan ada arah2 ke + lagi.
Dalam keadaan -, baru kali ini saya ketemu dia, trus masa udah mau + lagi. Saya pengen protes rasanya. Sama sih reaksi kita berdua, dia pun bertanya2 "Kenapa ya tiw, g harus melewati ini melulu, sampe bosen". Dan saya cum bisa diem, gatau jg mau jawab apa.

Beberapa hari lalu, dia mendapat kabar tentang kondisi kesehatannya, dan setelah menunda-nunda check up, yang hasilnya udah bisa dia tebak, kembali +.

2minggu ini kata "tumor" jadi akrab di telinga saya. Pertama, minggu lalu gadis kecil berusia 7 tahun, anaknya laoshi kami, didiagnosa memiliki tumor di kepalanya, kedua, teman baik saya, calon ayah mertuanya, didiagnosa mengalami kanker prostat, selang 2 hari, ada kabar bahwa neneknya, baru saja pulang medical check-up n ditemukan 2spot di paru-parunya. Humm sedang diteliti apa ini tumor ganas atau engga. Semua berkisar ttg penyakit......

Saya jadi berpikir, penghujung tahun 2005 sampe awal 2006, keluarga kami jadi berteman akrab sama dokter-dokter di ICCU, dari om saya sampe ayah saya jg ikut memeriahkan suasana kamar operasi n ruang ICCU . Kesulitan bernapas jadi pemandangan yang lumrah di ruangan perawatan intensif sesudah operasi. Dan itu satu-satu nya hari saya terus2an menghirup udara, n nafas dengan kesadaran penuh,sambil mengucap syukur, kalo oksigen bisa masuk ke paru2 saya n bisa keluar lagi dengan leluasa. Waktu ayah saya ada di masa 24 jam x 2 masa kritis, beliau ngadepin masa2 drop. Sudah berasa di antara 2 dunia, Yang satu udah gada kehidupan, yang satu lagi muncul deh ktanya muka2 kita skeluarga. Dan yang bkin dia "ngeh" dri alam tak sadarnya adalah the time when He pleaded to God. Dia berdoa di detik2 hanya dirinya dan Tuhan itu, dia bilang, saya masih mau hidup, Tuhan tolong saya. N He went through that valley.


Dan seharian ini, saya packing sambil, whisper a continuous prayer buat sahabat saya ini dan buat orang2 yang saya tau sedang dagdigdug nunggu hasil check-up. Siapa sih yang ga kepengen sembuh, dan berdoa minta kesehatan prima? Saya rasa ini harapan semua orang. Tapi my utmost prayer is, "Tuhan tolong kasih lagi semangat hidup yang baru" supaya semua tetep melihat kebaikanNya Tuhan, n ga berhenti berjuang, walau lelah.

Dan sekali lagi ini jadi pecut buat saya pribadi, pertama inget bahwa HE is Mighty, yet He has the authority to do what He pleases to do. Yang kedua, untuk kembali menghargai hidup. Kalo yang laen aja pengen hidup, ini yang udah hidup kenapa masiihhh aja suka suka grumble sama segala sesuatu yang di hidup, jdi saya akan mulai bersyukur buat setiap hal di hidup : ). n menambahkan SEMANGAT sama hidup ini.

Saya ga pernah mengalami hal2 serius di tubuh ini, tpi saya berusaha memahami perasaan orang2 yang sedang berjuang buat hidupnya. Dan sya yakin , Semangat hidup dan pengharapan lah yang jadi Penopang Terkuat mereka.

"Do you not know, Have you not heard?
The Lord is the Everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumbled and fail;
BUT those who hope in the LORD, will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles,
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint "

Blessings overflow my way..

Hidup jadi student itu emang penuh pertolongan n pemeliharaan Tuhan : )
Pasalnya bulan Juni akhir adalah hari2 dimana temen2 saya pada balik smua for good :D. n Layaknya orang mau pindah rumah, smua barang2 yang tak lagi dibutuhkan akan dihibahkan kepada siapa yang membutuhkan : ). ( kadang ga butuh, juga tetep aja siii diambil juga *_________^ slalu berpikir siapa tau nanti butuh )
Dan inilahhhhhhh saya dan Lisa Amanda, yang bergelar Pemulung 1 dan Pemulung 2, selama bulan Juni. :D. Segala macem dikasi, ga semua kita foto, tpi kalo di daftar smua ada, Mulai dari bantal sampe disposable underwear * oopS* . Cheese, spaghetti sauce, sampe sekantong Tide :D. A bucket full of slippers, sampe sabun CLINIQUE :D. Novel dan masihhhhhh banyak lainnya. :D.


Minggu itu, selain sibuk jadi pemulung, kita berdua sibuk jadi Kurir mendistribusikan barang2 yang sudah tak diperlukan ke orang2 yang mungkin membutuhkan, contohnya, hummmm Si Shushu yang suka jagain 岳麓山庄juga kebagian jemuran besi , yang merupakan barang mahal n langka disini :D. n senengnya adalahhhh... smakin itu barang2 habis diambilin dan didistribusikan kepada yang membutuhkan semakin senang lah teman2 sayaaaa : ). so kami pun senang walau beralih profesi dari student jadi pemulung Changsha * _^
Anyway, intinya saya mengalami apa yang tahun ini saya doain, mengalami Pemeliharaan Dia. N entah mengapa di sepanjang Desember 2009 and Jan 2010 yang terus berulang2 di kepala saya itu, kata Jehovah Jireh. * ___^. n He is Proven Jehovah Jireh. Sampe detail2 kecil di hidup saya Dia penuhi. Saya lagi berpikir waktu itu mau beli flipflop karena udah tipis banget akibat jalan diseret2 hehhe, ehhh dikasih flipflop :D. So sweet!

Soooo ini foto saya yang hampir smuanya barang pemberian heehhehe, dari tas, topi, flipflop. n waktu make itu smua jadi slalu keinget, saya ini hidup cuma karena AnugerahNya Dia : ).

Soooo kalo Dia Allah yang care sama setiap details di hidup saya, Dia jg Allah yang care bt details hidup kamu.... -Ask and it will be given to you－

living an abundant life,
withy

Blessings overflow my way..

I wish... I could change the Font! :D.

Well.. welcome to my blog. I always love to write, and read others stories. Thanks for drop by and lemme know if u're a blogger. :D.
I'll start with things popped up in my mind these days. I wanna write 10 things i wanna do before i'm 27 . people will ask why 27? it's just me feel old enough after 27 LOL!.

1. I really really really want to attend Hillsong conference or mission conference. wherever it'll be. YWAM , Hillsong, or urbana..... either one.

2. I wanna go to East part of Indonesia, to the beach of course. i've written this down as my goal setting from 2008. i don't care, i'll keep in mind, i Will go there someday.
3. I'd love to stay in Canada, New Zealand or States for a lil while.
4. Art therapy... i want to study this powerful cure for kids.5. I'll travel to Cambodia, Filipin, Europe, and Japan :D.
6. I should make up my mind, whether i wanna stay in Indo orrrrr.......... in *.......
7. REDESIGN my house... trust me when I went to Xi'an we stopped by in KFC and wrote things i need to buy, to do +sketches. it took me 1.5h.. so I'd better do it when i come home :D. (honestly this is my 2nd time wrote that notes, i did it last year when i was in Changsha, but back home i had lotsa things went on n as always - i have no enough time- *Excuses* )


8.
9
10.

I won't fill the 8-10 now..... for i'm sure i'll have a bigger dream tomorrow, the day after or next week may be :D. let's see.....






Never stop dreaming!
with